karma

Now, I knew better than to acknowledge the slump. I knew that saying out loud that I didn't feel like running lately would make bad things happen. I KNEW this... but I wrote about it anyway. Karma responded by slapping me and then pointing and laughing while it threw popcorn at my face. This is what the last week has looked like:

Day 1, in which I lose my voice:

Last Thursday, I went seamlessly from totally normal practicing in the morning to having almost no speaking or singing voice by evening. I felt fine most of the day, so I figured it was just a little bug.

Day 2, in which I am pretty sick:

Friday, I woke up feeling pretty rough. I decided to be smart about it and didn't go to school. I took a real sick day -- movies in bed, going to bed early, the whole deal.

Day 3, in which I say screw you, being sick:

I felt a little better on Saturday, so I decided to go on a "modified" long run. I was scheduled to do my first 10 miler that day, but I had gotten a little off in the schedule and hadn't gone on as many I was supposed to for the week before. Now, it was like 15 degrees last Saturday, with 15-20 mph winds. The smart thing to do would have been to run three miles (or not run at all) and then go to sleep for like four hours just in case. Instead, I ran 8 RPM (real people miles -- i.e. rolling terrain, including some decent hills, and no flat trail sections). The good news? I totally broke out of my slump! It was awesome! I was psyched to do more RPM long runs! The bad news? It ushered in...

Days 4-6, in which I am REALLY SICK:

Sunday through Tuesday were mostly spent in bed (except when I was at work), coughing like I had pneumonia and totally unable to sing. When I talked, I sounded like someone who had been smoking a pack a day for about the last forty years. And gargling with bleach. So that wasn't great.

Day 7, in which things should have turned around:

Wednesday, I finally felt like I was really starting to get better. I was still coughing a lot, but at this point I was itching to go on a little run. I decided to go on an easy two miler. My shins and feet hurt from the beginning, but I figured I couldn't really do much damage in two miles so I kept going. Turns out that apparently two miles can sometimes be enough (if you are running on cold muscles with crappy form because you feel sore and stiff) to completely f*** up your knee. My left knee has given me trouble in the past, but I am now on day three of hobbling around while it mocks me with its swollen stiffness. Great.

...so now it's Friday (Day 9), and I'm feeling so much better -- besides some leftover junk that my body is still trying to cough out. It's a beautiful sunny day, about 50 degrees. Everyone and their mom is outside running. And ALL I WANT is to be running, too. Instead, I'm inside feeling lazy and heavy after a week with only two runs, wondering how many days it's going to take for my knee to feel better. And I know that even when it DOES feel better, it's going to be another day or so before I should run so I don't just mess it up again.

The moral of the story? Be careful what you wish for.

slump

I am officially in a slump. It seems a little dumb to get in a slump right before a big milestone distance (10 was supposed to be this weekend... I got behind so it will hopefully be next week) and while I'm training for a huge milestone race, but I guess sometimes you don't see stuff coming.

I'm going to try not to beat myself up about it, especially since when I think about it objectively, it makes sense. The last two weeks (and especially last week) feature a WHOLE lot of stress and being busy and not getting enough sleep. And it's still cold and damp, so forcing myself to get outside isn't the easiest. Take right now, for instance... I'm waiting for the bus to go home, and I know I should run when I get there but all I can think about are pajamas and watching a movie in bed.

I'm going to try to trick myself out of it... for instance, tonight I'm going to go home and go out for two miles. If I get started and want to do more, that's great, but I'm allowed to not feel guilty if I just do two. And THEN I can have my Annie's spaghettios (complete with soy meatballs!). And a glass of wine. And a movie in bed. And a pony. And a million dollars... or at least a piece of banana bread.

We'll see how that approach works...